escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
