Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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