He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
