home. puking in laundry basket.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
NoShamevember. You game?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize