carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
