I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
