Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
