To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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