so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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