You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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