i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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