...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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