I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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