Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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