i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize