Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
