New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
