Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
