I CAN MOONWALK!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
