He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
