obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
