They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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