I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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