we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
