"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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