i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
