you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
