If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
