no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
high people should be assigned attendants
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
