Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize