why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize