all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
