Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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