WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
do nipples grow back?
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