watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
God, I missed his penis.
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