forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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