shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
