This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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