I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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