We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
