I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
