she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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