Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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