sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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