Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
