perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
