You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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