we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
