someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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