3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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