Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
