i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
