The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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