my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
where are my eyebrows?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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