I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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