i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
