Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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