Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
