I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
