"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I deserve this hangover.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
