How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
