He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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