Do you still have your period?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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