so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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