OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
