i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Actions speak louder than pants.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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