Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
