i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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